Addictions

This is a re-post of an entry I posted over a year ago. I wanted to post this again to put up-front-and-center my story of addiction for any new readers of my blog. I do this to re-tell a story that is central to my being. It's a story I want to tell every teenager, every adult, every child. It's not pretty, but it has a good ending.

I decided to write about something I could really relate to this time. When it comes to being an expert on a subject, for me it’s easy: addiction.

There was a story about a man who was a long-time addict. He remembered his lowest point. He was laying in a field, too drunk to get up, and too drunk to fall asleep. He just kind of went in and out of consciousness waiting for enough liquor to pass through his system that he could get up and make his way home; or at least to a bed somewhere. He remembered a bright light shining on him. When he opened his eyes, he saw the fuzzy image of a policeman shining a flashlight at him. There was trouble on the property, and a fight had broken out. But this man was so obviously wasted the cop didn’t even consider him a threat. He left the man alone and went to check on other people on the property.

It’s pretty sad when a drunk teenager is so out of it that he can’t even cause trouble. The episode stuck with the man; and the image of the policeman is clearly visible in his memory. How worse off can you be than that, he thought. It’s a question I would ask too, especially considering that man in the story is me.

That incident happened some 30 years ago or so, but it haunts me to this day. I’m not really sure why. I should have been arrested — I was underage — but I caught a break. I guess that made up for the time when I was 14 or 15 and got arrested for trying to sell marijuana when in fact I was not trying to do that and was basically in the wrong place at the wrong time. That would probably count as another low spot in my earlier life, although I honestly cannot count that incident as the result of an addiction.

I think about the children and adolescents growing up today with so many worries that they should not have to deal with. Fortunately they are educated about the dangers of alcohol and drugs and most of them do not fall for that trap. It’s one of the Devil’s greatest tools. Yeah, I know the kids can still get into a lot of trouble, but — and this is not a challenge — they couldn’t hold a candle to us in those days. We were terrible — terrible!

I wish I could tell you that it got better right after that drinking incident but it did not. I went on to develop my drinking problem even further, and I added a couple of new addictions along the way. But something happened to me that changed my life. Over a period of 20 years, I slowly got away from these habits and found more positive things to hold on to. Getting married was a big step; for when that happens it quickly hits you that life's not just about you any more. Having a child was another big step, because it wasn't just about us any more. Taking that child to church was another huge step, because it exposed us to something we had been avoiding for years.

I can tell you that throughout those years of drugs, alcohol, trouble-making, indecent behavior — despite the fact that I tried to run away from him as fast as I could — there was someone with me through the whole journey. Because as soon as I turned to look for him, God was there.

God helped me break my addiction to cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana and cocaine. He did this by helping me find the church, discover the love of His people and the love of His son, Jesus Christ.

What I wish now is that I was done with all of my addictions, but I am not. There are some things that are harder to get away from than others. These addictions are powerful, and frustrating to live with. They separate me from a true relationship with God. I know He is aware of them, and He knows what needs to be done to deal with them. I know that God will one day cure me of all addictions. That will be a glorious day.
Addictions come in all forms. Who among us can say they don’t have any addictions? I hope that I can at least say I am facing my addictions, and with God’s help I am dealing with them. I know I can do better. Help us all, Lord.